Ink

My school has a newspaper called 'Ink' that comes out sporadically throughout the year. It is comprised of articles, poems, and randomness. Most articles are filled with opinions on the current hot-topic of the school and they often spark a lot of conversation. This week another edition came out, and amidst the reviews of 'cinderfella' and the lookalike photos one article caught my eye. It was an article written about an English class. and not just any English class, but mine! And as I started reading I started laughing and I laughed until I started to cry (for those of you who know me, this is really not that unusual of an occurrence). I laughed because it was exactly what happened. So I thought I would share it with you:

Preemptive Strike Incapacitates Standard English Code

by Timothy Lim

Ruth's English room, Language Block - W code started promptly at 11:20 am this morning. The class was assigned to read of the whole code is utter deathly silence.

As the students diligently buried their very souls into Like Water for Chocolate the first signs of the impending attack started to show. At 11:26 a student seated at the back of the class started to exhibit suspicious symptoms. The student proceeded to blow her nose vigorously with a crescendo, climaxing in a mind blowing reverberation. Always on her guard Ruth donned her precautionary glasses before looking up to examine the threat.

The student was given 1 minute and 3 seconds to blow her nose before Ruth politely demanded her eviction. The student replied, "Yes, do I have to leave the English block?"

Ruth relied with a firm "Yes."

The student disposes of the contaminated tissue in the bin and exits the room.

Leaving the invasive germs with no quarter nor mercy, Ruth secured infected table in just a few seconds wielding a can of Dettol spray. The ill-fated attack was immediately suppressed and obliterated by a rain of vaporous gases of antiseptic.

The use of such chemicals in military warfare have long been banned under the Germeva convention.

Reports are coming in from the capitol of the Germ Capital naming this disaster the Gallipoli of the 21st century or the D-Day if the Germans were prepared.

Ruth completed the massacre by disinfecting the immediate area above the now completely sanitary table.

She them calmly proceeded to sanitize her own hands.

The class was in shock withe the efficiency of the is retaliation. Many would credit it to extensive reconnaissance and intelligence.

According to sources, the main thought running through the students was that of "WTF"*.

*Teenage slang, loosely translated as: 'Wowzers, what the Flying Kerjeepers!'